How to find a therapist that’s right for you.


Whether you’re new to therapy or ready for a change in therapists, your relationship with your provider is one of the most important factors for successful therapy outcomes. You should feel safe, secure, and connected with your therapist. Just like other relationships, it may take time to build trust and connect. What you can do is set yourself up for success. Think about what you’re hoping to gain from therapy, how you like to be communicated with, and what type of person you would feel most comfortable talking to about the tough stuff. Here are things to consider when looking for a therapist:


  • Do you want a therapist that has any shared identities to you?
    • Age
    • Race and/or ethnicity
    • Gender identity
    • Religious or spiritual beliefs
    • Social or political beliefs
    • Part of the LGBTQ+ community
    • Part of the CNM (consensual non-monogamy) community
  • Do you prefer in person or virtual sessions, or a combination of both?
  • Do you need to use your insurance? If so, go to your insurance portal and pull names from there first. If not, check with your insurance to see about being reimbursed for therapy. You can also use your HSA card for therapy sessions as well.
  • If you prefer virtual sessions, do you want to meet with your therapist through a video call or a phone call?
  • What kind of specialization do you want your therapist to have? The following are a few examples but not a comprehensive list-
    • Relationship stress
    • Career counseling
    • Family therapy
    • Couples Counseling
    • Trauma processing (EMDR or Brainspotting)
    • Personality disorders
    • Identity exploration
    • Substance use
    • Performance enhancement
  • Do you want a therapist whose approach is soft and gentle or more direct and challenging?
  • Are you looking for a therapist who provides phone/text coaching?
  • If you speak more than one language, would you feel more able to express yourself if you could speak to your therapist in your first language?
  • Do you need a therapist licensed in multiple states if you live part time elsewhere?


For some, the thought of opening up to a new therapist, a complete stranger, can feel far less daunting if they know a little bit about their background. Don’t be afraid to ask your potential therapist questions about themselves. This will help you determine if they’re the right fit for you and how safe that therapeutic space will be for you and your personal needs.

Reach out to anyone at and see who feels like the right fit.