How to Cope with Being Gender Fluid in a Society that Doesn’t Understand
Living as a gender fluid person means that you have to embrace yourself as someone who is never going to fit into one of the traditional gender boxes that society has laid out for you.
This may feel freeing and authentic to you, and it should. For others, and for general society, they can struggle to understand or accept someone who lives in a different way from what’s considered the norm. The lack of understanding and acceptance can lead to alienation, confusion, discrimination, and harassment.
Below are suggestions for how to cope with being gender fluid in a society that doesn’t understand.
Affirm Your Identity
You are you, and that’s the best version of yourself. It’s important to remember that your experience is real and valid, and you don’t need validation from anyone else to exist exactly as you are. It can be extremely annoying, frustrating, and even hurtful when someone questions your gender fluidity, but this is where self-affirmation can help. Being able to affirm your own identity, even if others don’t, is a powerful tool towards healing as well as being resistant and resilient.
Build a Support System
The world has come a long way over the years, but unfortunately, it still has a much longer way to go. A lot of people view the world as black or white, but there is so much more to it, and that’s where the grey area comes into play. Unfortunately, not everyone will understand your gender fluidity, even your family members. That’s why it’s important to have a chosen family that is your safe space where you can be fully yourself, no questions asked. This could be your actual family, friends, a LGBTQIA+ group, an online community, or a mental health professional.
Choose to Educate Yourself (Or Not)
While it can be important to brush up on gender fluidity and keep yourself up to date on the history and trending topics of conversation, it’s important to know that you’re not obligated to be anyone’s teacher on the matter. You have to choose whether you want to educate yourself, others, or not at all. Some conversations can be extremely helpful and eye and mind-opening, but they can also be extremely exhausting. You have to decide with each person and in each situation, depending on how you’re feeling, if you’re willing and able to explain more about your identity, but you also shouldn’t feel guilty if you just don’t have the energy to do so.
Take Care of Yourself
Make sure you’re taking time to take care of yourself. While this is always important, it’s even more important in times of high stress or anxiety. Unfortunately, living in a world and in a society where a majority of people just don’t understand you or cut you out completely can be emotionally and physically draining. Make sure you’re prioritizing activities that help you live in the present moment and that you actually enjoy. You should also prioritize self-care and rest.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries may seem harsh, but they’re actually a necessity for all types of healthy relationships. Boundaries are especially important for those individuals who don’t understand. Setting boundaries is crucial for you to protect your overall mental health and wellness. You don’t owe anyone anything, especially access to your true self, if they’re just going to meet you with judgment, mockery, or hostility. Boundaries can help you limit conversations or just walk away from them completely as a way to protect yourself.
Seek Additional Support
Being gender fluid can be challenging. That said, it’s important to remember that it is also a beautiful and profound expression of human diversity. Your identity is real, and you are enough, exactly as you are. Being gender fluid isn’t something that you should feel like you have to explain or defend to yourself or anyone else.
If you’re struggling with coping in a society that doesn’t quite understand you, you’re not alone. Consider reaching out to a licensed and trained mental health professional to have someone to talk to about how you’re feeling. They’ll be able to help you work through your various thoughts and feelings and implement coping mechanisms moving forward. Get in touch with us today to get started.
Schedule with Weezie (weezie@amyrobbinscounseling.com) or Sarah (sarah@amyrobbinscounseling.com) for an appointment.